Kafez

Literary

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Location: Dublin, Republic of, Ireland

Thursday, 31 May 2007

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Applaud the conscience-stricken melody of the beautiful. For I am the enraptured fish, dancing up the water! - suzan abrams

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Applaud the conscience-stricken melody of the beautiful. For I am the enraptured fish, dancing up the water! - suzan abrams

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Applaud the conscience-stricken melody of the beautiful. For I am the enraptured fish, dancing up the water! - suzan abrams

The fever's gone and I'm back to normal. I'll tell you what it was.

I wasn't faring well because of a sore lack of nutrition. That's why I'm been feeling the way I did.

I didn't realise that for the entire month of May, I was only eating one meal a day; if I had any kind of appetite at all it was 1 1/2 meals a day. I ate at 3 in the afternoon, the bit which was maybe 3 slices of bread with cheese or 6 spoonfuls of rice with a small chicken bite and some potatoes and that was that. I also stopped drinking coffee while ill which meant that during the entire month of May, I wouldn't have drunk more then 5 small cups. The thing is I'm an avid coffee drinker and have had coffee at least 7 to 8 times a day for many years.


So my body went into shock.


And also, it explains why my energy levels were draining out very quickly and by late afternoon, I no longer had any strength left. It was amazing that my tummy gave no telltale signs never being in pain but simply succumbing to my spirit. Which is very dangerous thing, I think. The fever was a a valuable warning sign. Thank God, the gastric didn't show or I would have been finished.


So I'm going to try and correct things now.

I was also a little depressed because I talked about my plans for May and it came to nowt. My cd player stopped working, my laptop stopped working...I think it was just an awful month.

But I'm still here...


At first, I thought of seriously quitting my blog because I was so embarassed by my illness and am too straightforward a person not to talk about it when it demanded to be a steady companion. I thought you were all sick and tired of reading me. I just don't have that kind of nobility or fortitude to pretend everything is alright when it's not but I think I just need to correct my eating habits now and slowly go back to the usual breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner like every other human being. :-)

The fever's gone and I'm back to normal. I'll tell you what it was.

I wasn't faring well because of a sore lack of nutrition. That's why I'm been feeling the way I did.

I didn't realise that for the entire month of May, I was only eating one meal a day; if I had any kind of appetite at all it was 1 1/2 meals a day. I ate at 3 in the afternoon, the bit which was maybe 3 slices of bread with cheese or 6 spoonfuls of rice with a small chicken bite and some potatoes and that was that. I also stopped drinking coffee while ill which meant that during the entire month of May, I wouldn't have drunk more then 5 small cups. The thing is I'm an avid coffee drinker and have had coffee at least 7 to 8 times a day for many years.


So my body went into shock.


And also, it explains why my energy levels were draining out very quickly and by late afternoon, I no longer had any strength left. It was amazing that my tummy gave no telltale signs never being in pain but simply succumbing to my spirit. Which is very dangerous thing, I think. The fever was a a valuable warning sign. Thank God, the gastric didn't show or I would have been finished.


So I'm going to try and correct things now.

I was also a little depressed because I talked about my plans for May and it came to nowt. My cd player stopped working, my laptop stopped working...I think it was just an awful month.

But I'm still here...


At first, I thought of seriously quitting my blog because I was so embarassed by my illness and am too straightforward a person not to talk about it when it demanded to be a steady companion. I thought you were all sick and tired of reading me. I just don't have that kind of nobility or fortitude to pretend everything is alright when it's not but I think I just need to correct my eating habits now and slowly go back to the usual breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner like every other human being. :-)

The fever's gone and I'm back to normal. I'll tell you what it was.

I wasn't faring well because of a sore lack of nutrition. That's why I'm been feeling the way I did.

I didn't realise that for the entire month of May, I was only eating one meal a day; if I had any kind of appetite at all it was 1 1/2 meals a day. I ate at 3 in the afternoon, the bit which was maybe 3 slices of bread with cheese or 6 spoonfuls of rice with a small chicken bite and some potatoes and that was that. I also stopped drinking coffee while ill which meant that during the entire month of May, I wouldn't have drunk more then 5 small cups. The thing is I'm an avid coffee drinker and have had coffee at least 7 to 8 times a day for many years.


So my body went into shock.


And also, it explains why my energy levels were draining out very quickly and by late afternoon, I no longer had any strength left. It was amazing that my tummy gave no telltale signs never being in pain but simply succumbing to my spirit. Which is very dangerous thing, I think. The fever was a a valuable warning sign. Thank God, the gastric didn't show or I would have been finished.


So I'm going to try and correct things now.

I was also a little depressed because I talked about my plans for May and it came to nowt. My cd player stopped working, my laptop stopped working...I think it was just an awful month.

But I'm still here...


At first, I thought of seriously quitting my blog because I was so embarassed by my illness and am too straightforward a person not to talk about it when it demanded to be a steady companion. I thought you were all sick and tired of reading me. I just don't have that kind of nobility or fortitude to pretend everything is alright when it's not but I think I just need to correct my eating habits now and slowly go back to the usual breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner like every other human being. :-)

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Hi Everyone, I'm so embarassed...really don't know how to tell you but I fell sick again with a fever that perhaps never really went away. Otherwise, I would have posted sooner and not waited for 2 days. Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy. I'm not. Being sick makes me angry and confused because I am not a sickly person generally and don't know how to deal with my own illnesses.

I am now seriously thinking that I should find a way a way to let you all know if in case something happens. Most times, I have a natural vitality & strength but sometimes I feel almost devoid of life and 2 times already...I've lain in bed in the evening, thinking...oh my God...I'm going to go any minute now. But then it didn't happen. But I was calm and aware of a frail mortality. I realised that my destiny - because it is so intense - may be shorter than other peoples'. I mean, that awareness suddenly hit me & its true you know...people with intense lives live shorter periods because they simply burn themselves out. Or maybe now, I am being paranoid although what I said earlier has been scientifically proven. :-)

I'll just have to travel sick because I can't wait for the sickness to go. I do know my destinations now. It's just that people who don't like me know me read this blog and I really don't want any bad energy coming my way. They definitely won't be wishing me well. You know what I mean...so I'd rather no one knew where I was going until I'm there and that's why I said you could then check your stats. But not yet today. The 4 destinations are Australia, East Africa, Nepal & England. England is long-term. The others are shorter. There is a sensible reason for this. I'm going back to professional travel-writing...I mean, I intend this to be my bread-and-butter job but I am also going to try and get my novel published in England once and for all and also somehow have my play staged with a repertory theatre. These are my immediate ambitions.

The door for Nepal opened unexpectedly. I made friends with 2 Himalayan mountain guides who stayed next door to me at the backpackers. They were on their way to Switzerland as the Himalayan climbs only enters its full season now from September to December. Then I made a very good acquaintance of their friend, the owner of a travel agency in Kathmandu. That is all I needed. We discussed the possibility of me doing some Hilmalayan stories and now I must try to get commissioned by a magazine abroad. So this is in the near future.

Thanks for all your comments for the entries below. I've read all. Just that when I'm under the weather, I find it hard to answer individually but I did read you all. :-) I find it difficult at the moment to post an entry and also visit blogs so I'll visit you all tomorrow. So sorry. I was never like this before.

Hi Everyone, I'm so embarassed...really don't know how to tell you but I fell sick again with a fever that perhaps never really went away. Otherwise, I would have posted sooner and not waited for 2 days. Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy. I'm not. Being sick makes me angry and confused because I am not a sickly person generally and don't know how to deal with my own illnesses.

I am now seriously thinking that I should find a way a way to let you all know if in case something happens. Most times, I have a natural vitality & strength but sometimes I feel almost devoid of life and 2 times already...I've lain in bed in the evening, thinking...oh my God...I'm going to go any minute now. But then it didn't happen. But I was calm and aware of a frail mortality. I realised that my destiny - because it is so intense - may be shorter than other peoples'. I mean, that awareness suddenly hit me & its true you know...people with intense lives live shorter periods because they simply burn themselves out. Or maybe now, I am being paranoid although what I said earlier has been scientifically proven. :-)

I'll just have to travel sick because I can't wait for the sickness to go. I do know my destinations now. It's just that people who don't like me know me read this blog and I really don't want any bad energy coming my way. They definitely won't be wishing me well. You know what I mean...so I'd rather no one knew where I was going until I'm there and that's why I said you could then check your stats. But not yet today. The 4 destinations are Australia, East Africa, Nepal & England. England is long-term. The others are shorter. There is a sensible reason for this. I'm going back to professional travel-writing...I mean, I intend this to be my bread-and-butter job but I am also going to try and get my novel published in England once and for all and also somehow have my play staged with a repertory theatre. These are my immediate ambitions.

The door for Nepal opened unexpectedly. I made friends with 2 Himalayan mountain guides who stayed next door to me at the backpackers. They were on their way to Switzerland as the Himalayan climbs only enters its full season now from September to December. Then I made a very good acquaintance of their friend, the owner of a travel agency in Kathmandu. That is all I needed. We discussed the possibility of me doing some Hilmalayan stories and now I must try to get commissioned by a magazine abroad. So this is in the near future.

Thanks for all your comments for the entries below. I've read all. Just that when I'm under the weather, I find it hard to answer individually but I did read you all. :-) I find it difficult at the moment to post an entry and also visit blogs so I'll visit you all tomorrow. So sorry. I was never like this before.

Hi Everyone, I'm so embarassed...really don't know how to tell you but I fell sick again with a fever that perhaps never really went away. Otherwise, I would have posted sooner and not waited for 2 days. Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy. I'm not. Being sick makes me angry and confused because I am not a sickly person generally and don't know how to deal with my own illnesses.

I am now seriously thinking that I should find a way a way to let you all know if in case something happens. Most times, I have a natural vitality & strength but sometimes I feel almost devoid of life and 2 times already...I've lain in bed in the evening, thinking...oh my God...I'm going to go any minute now. But then it didn't happen. But I was calm and aware of a frail mortality. I realised that my destiny - because it is so intense - may be shorter than other peoples'. I mean, that awareness suddenly hit me & its true you know...people with intense lives live shorter periods because they simply burn themselves out. Or maybe now, I am being paranoid although what I said earlier has been scientifically proven. :-)

I'll just have to travel sick because I can't wait for the sickness to go. I do know my destinations now. It's just that people who don't like me know me read this blog and I really don't want any bad energy coming my way. They definitely won't be wishing me well. You know what I mean...so I'd rather no one knew where I was going until I'm there and that's why I said you could then check your stats. But not yet today. The 4 destinations are Australia, East Africa, Nepal & England. England is long-term. The others are shorter. There is a sensible reason for this. I'm going back to professional travel-writing...I mean, I intend this to be my bread-and-butter job but I am also going to try and get my novel published in England once and for all and also somehow have my play staged with a repertory theatre. These are my immediate ambitions.

The door for Nepal opened unexpectedly. I made friends with 2 Himalayan mountain guides who stayed next door to me at the backpackers. They were on their way to Switzerland as the Himalayan climbs only enters its full season now from September to December. Then I made a very good acquaintance of their friend, the owner of a travel agency in Kathmandu. That is all I needed. We discussed the possibility of me doing some Hilmalayan stories and now I must try to get commissioned by a magazine abroad. So this is in the near future.

Thanks for all your comments for the entries below. I've read all. Just that when I'm under the weather, I find it hard to answer individually but I did read you all. :-) I find it difficult at the moment to post an entry and also visit blogs so I'll visit you all tomorrow. So sorry. I was never like this before.

Sunday, 27 May 2007

I didn't book my plane tickets today. Woke up late because I couldn't sleep at night. So I'll do it tomorrow. Would you believe me if I told you I have 4 destinations in mind and cannot figure out where to go first? All 4 will eventually merge together. So I'll play things by ear like I used to do in the past and listen to what the agent recommends. Follow up from there. Terrible woman, aren't I. :-)

I also often go through a time in my life when I am able to write contemporary poetry very well and then for months when I can write nothing at all. Some lines came into my spirit some hours ago. If I were wise, I should shape up my poetry, read lots of good poets and work very carefully to polish the longer pieces. And I will! It's just that everything happens together.


But here are the lines. Let me share them with you. They're for you my friends. Specially for you.

Listen to the soft waters lapping at your spirit.

A drunken toast at heartbeat's end.

Eyes closed to tears in a broken rivulet.

I am the kiss afloat in your ocean of blood.

I didn't book my plane tickets today. Woke up late because I couldn't sleep at night. So I'll do it tomorrow. Would you believe me if I told you I have 4 destinations in mind and cannot figure out where to go first? All 4 will eventually merge together. So I'll play things by ear like I used to do in the past and listen to what the agent recommends. Follow up from there. Terrible woman, aren't I. :-)

I also often go through a time in my life when I am able to write contemporary poetry very well and then for months when I can write nothing at all. Some lines came into my spirit some hours ago. If I were wise, I should shape up my poetry, read lots of good poets and work very carefully to polish the longer pieces. And I will! It's just that everything happens together.


But here are the lines. Let me share them with you. They're for you my friends. Specially for you.

Listen to the soft waters lapping at your spirit.

A drunken toast at heartbeat's end.

Eyes closed to tears in a broken rivulet.

I am the kiss afloat in your ocean of blood.

I didn't book my plane tickets today. Woke up late because I couldn't sleep at night. So I'll do it tomorrow. Would you believe me if I told you I have 4 destinations in mind and cannot figure out where to go first? All 4 will eventually merge together. So I'll play things by ear like I used to do in the past and listen to what the agent recommends. Follow up from there. Terrible woman, aren't I. :-)

I also often go through a time in my life when I am able to write contemporary poetry very well and then for months when I can write nothing at all. Some lines came into my spirit some hours ago. If I were wise, I should shape up my poetry, read lots of good poets and work very carefully to polish the longer pieces. And I will! It's just that everything happens together.


But here are the lines. Let me share them with you. They're for you my friends. Specially for you.

Listen to the soft waters lapping at your spirit.

A drunken toast at heartbeat's end.

Eyes closed to tears in a broken rivulet.

I am the kiss afloat in your ocean of blood.

Saturday, 26 May 2007

Hey everyone, May change the blog. Don't like this blog anymore. But wait. Let me think first. :)

All well now. Meant to come and blog earlier and to visit you all but staying in my friend's backpacker place afforded me so many new experiences immediately after the illness & everyday became widely different from the other. And I haven't even left the country yet. :-). This is a week of plane tickets, packing again and all the usual excitement but I'll tell you when I have reached my new destination. And then you can have a look in your stats.

Because of my real name, people I know and whom I don't quite like, read this blog so I don't want them to know anything until after the deed's done.

I've discovered for me, at this time in my life that even as I attract adventure, adventure has already come to me. The only real setback was the 3-week sickness & right now, the slow return of appetite. And even as I have discovered and appreciated within me a new affinity and gift for friendship, new people are trooping into my life, from different countries.

We are what we attract, I am learning. If intellect can be taught to guard the heart's emotions, we can literally be seduced into getting what we want. But you have to fight for what you want and make constant demands of your subconscious. All the time, I taste something new, I'm thinking of plans I have to put them all down as stories. It's turning into an exciting time for me. But not in a heady dramatic way. Just a steady gradual one. I'll try to relate my experiences a little here and there, but I say, wouldn't it be fun to read all about them in a book.

Tomorrow, I will visit. Promise. My mailbox is full too. I think of all you all the time. Don't want to lose any of you. What kind of a life now shaping up for me? I'd love to but daren't imagine. :-)

much love

Hey everyone, May change the blog. Don't like this blog anymore. But wait. Let me think first. :)

All well now. Meant to come and blog earlier and to visit you all but staying in my friend's backpacker place afforded me so many new experiences immediately after the illness & everyday became widely different from the other. And I haven't even left the country yet. :-). This is a week of plane tickets, packing again and all the usual excitement but I'll tell you when I have reached my new destination. And then you can have a look in your stats.

Because of my real name, people I know and whom I don't quite like, read this blog so I don't want them to know anything until after the deed's done.

I've discovered for me, at this time in my life that even as I attract adventure, adventure has already come to me. The only real setback was the 3-week sickness & right now, the slow return of appetite. And even as I have discovered and appreciated within me a new affinity and gift for friendship, new people are trooping into my life, from different countries.

We are what we attract, I am learning. If intellect can be taught to guard the heart's emotions, we can literally be seduced into getting what we want. But you have to fight for what you want and make constant demands of your subconscious. All the time, I taste something new, I'm thinking of plans I have to put them all down as stories. It's turning into an exciting time for me. But not in a heady dramatic way. Just a steady gradual one. I'll try to relate my experiences a little here and there, but I say, wouldn't it be fun to read all about them in a book.

Tomorrow, I will visit. Promise. My mailbox is full too. I think of all you all the time. Don't want to lose any of you. What kind of a life now shaping up for me? I'd love to but daren't imagine. :-)

much love

Hey everyone, May change the blog. Don't like this blog anymore. But wait. Let me think first. :)

All well now. Meant to come and blog earlier and to visit you all but staying in my friend's backpacker place afforded me so many new experiences immediately after the illness & everyday became widely different from the other. And I haven't even left the country yet. :-). This is a week of plane tickets, packing again and all the usual excitement but I'll tell you when I have reached my new destination. And then you can have a look in your stats.

Because of my real name, people I know and whom I don't quite like, read this blog so I don't want them to know anything until after the deed's done.

I've discovered for me, at this time in my life that even as I attract adventure, adventure has already come to me. The only real setback was the 3-week sickness & right now, the slow return of appetite. And even as I have discovered and appreciated within me a new affinity and gift for friendship, new people are trooping into my life, from different countries.

We are what we attract, I am learning. If intellect can be taught to guard the heart's emotions, we can literally be seduced into getting what we want. But you have to fight for what you want and make constant demands of your subconscious. All the time, I taste something new, I'm thinking of plans I have to put them all down as stories. It's turning into an exciting time for me. But not in a heady dramatic way. Just a steady gradual one. I'll try to relate my experiences a little here and there, but I say, wouldn't it be fun to read all about them in a book.

Tomorrow, I will visit. Promise. My mailbox is full too. I think of all you all the time. Don't want to lose any of you. What kind of a life now shaping up for me? I'd love to but daren't imagine. :-)

much love

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

I'm ok now. Everything of the illness is gone. It stayed on me almost the whole month. I'll have a post tomorrow and also visit you all tomorrow. cheers,

I'm ok now. Everything of the illness is gone. It stayed on me almost the whole month. I'll have a post tomorrow and also visit you all tomorrow. cheers,

I'm ok now. Everything of the illness is gone. It stayed on me almost the whole month. I'll have a post tomorrow and also visit you all tomorrow. cheers,

Sunday, 20 May 2007

I couldn't come to the Internet for 2 days because I suddenly fell ill again. But that's over now. Just one of those things though for me this has been a horrible month but I'm thankful things were not any worse than they already are.

My posts have become unfocussed and I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. I feel I'm rambling at the moment.

I get tired easily but that's my own fault from a strong lack of nutrition these last 2 weeks...Fancy just eating one meal a day. :-) I'm trying to correct that now.

I've also noticed my right sidebar has sort of disappeared completely...it's swum underwater and I think maybe it's time to change the blog to dispel with all the bad energy in it. Or rather when I look at the posts, I'll remember how it was for me during this time and I'd rather not.

I may be leaving this backpacker place and going elsewhere in a day or two before I go abroad. I may go to Singapore. My friends keep visiting me and I wish I were on a remote island right now. I think it's settled that I am one eccentric lady...just not yet old. :-) I just want to publish my book and turn into an adventurous reclusive proper...

I couldn't come to the Internet for 2 days because I suddenly fell ill again. But that's over now. Just one of those things though for me this has been a horrible month but I'm thankful things were not any worse than they already are.

My posts have become unfocussed and I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. I feel I'm rambling at the moment.

I get tired easily but that's my own fault from a strong lack of nutrition these last 2 weeks...Fancy just eating one meal a day. :-) I'm trying to correct that now.

I've also noticed my right sidebar has sort of disappeared completely...it's swum underwater and I think maybe it's time to change the blog to dispel with all the bad energy in it. Or rather when I look at the posts, I'll remember how it was for me during this time and I'd rather not.

I may be leaving this backpacker place and going elsewhere in a day or two before I go abroad. I may go to Singapore. My friends keep visiting me and I wish I were on a remote island right now. I think it's settled that I am one eccentric lady...just not yet old. :-) I just want to publish my book and turn into an adventurous reclusive proper...

I couldn't come to the Internet for 2 days because I suddenly fell ill again. But that's over now. Just one of those things though for me this has been a horrible month but I'm thankful things were not any worse than they already are.

My posts have become unfocussed and I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. I feel I'm rambling at the moment.

I get tired easily but that's my own fault from a strong lack of nutrition these last 2 weeks...Fancy just eating one meal a day. :-) I'm trying to correct that now.

I've also noticed my right sidebar has sort of disappeared completely...it's swum underwater and I think maybe it's time to change the blog to dispel with all the bad energy in it. Or rather when I look at the posts, I'll remember how it was for me during this time and I'd rather not.

I may be leaving this backpacker place and going elsewhere in a day or two before I go abroad. I may go to Singapore. My friends keep visiting me and I wish I were on a remote island right now. I think it's settled that I am one eccentric lady...just not yet old. :-) I just want to publish my book and turn into an adventurous reclusive proper...

Thursday, 17 May 2007

The Reason Why I Stopped Everything And Returned to Malaysia

I should explain to you all even as I did write about this once before - but because I have new readers now - that the reason I returned to Malaysia - a country I love but which doesn't hold my future ambitions - was because I was stalked for about 6 years by a lady in Australia.

It did not stop though the sicckening experience lightened somewhat while I travelled about and also when I lived in England. I chose to have a hedonistic time whenever I could but she also disrupted a lot of things in my life and this especially with relationships I was involved with at the time.

I returned when it all got too much and I needed to clear my head and my thoughts.

She's gone now but for a while a strange kind of fear remained. It was only when I was freed of that fear and relieved of my own sense of defeat that I knew it was time to go back to my old life, my once-upon-a-time-friends, and now if I can make enough money, for more travels. I mean, it feels a bit right now, like placing your foot gingerly into a pool of water, daring yourself for a swim. At least, I can stick my toe into the ripples now.

Just thought it was important you all knew the score. The whole effect was emotionally draining and also exhausting at the time but I survived it all and I don't remember its severity as I used to once before.

.

The Reason Why I Stopped Everything And Returned to Malaysia

I should explain to you all even as I did write about this once before - but because I have new readers now - that the reason I returned to Malaysia - a country I love but which doesn't hold my future ambitions - was because I was stalked for about 6 years by a lady in Australia.

It did not stop though the sicckening experience lightened somewhat while I travelled about and also when I lived in England. I chose to have a hedonistic time whenever I could but she also disrupted a lot of things in my life and this especially with relationships I was involved with at the time.

I returned when it all got too much and I needed to clear my head and my thoughts.

She's gone now but for a while a strange kind of fear remained. It was only when I was freed of that fear and relieved of my own sense of defeat that I knew it was time to go back to my old life, my once-upon-a-time-friends, and now if I can make enough money, for more travels. I mean, it feels a bit right now, like placing your foot gingerly into a pool of water, daring yourself for a swim. At least, I can stick my toe into the ripples now.

Just thought it was important you all knew the score. The whole effect was emotionally draining and also exhausting at the time but I survived it all and I don't remember its severity as I used to once before.

.

The Reason Why I Stopped Everything And Returned to Malaysia

I should explain to you all even as I did write about this once before - but because I have new readers now - that the reason I returned to Malaysia - a country I love but which doesn't hold my future ambitions - was because I was stalked for about 6 years by a lady in Australia.

It did not stop though the sicckening experience lightened somewhat while I travelled about and also when I lived in England. I chose to have a hedonistic time whenever I could but she also disrupted a lot of things in my life and this especially with relationships I was involved with at the time.

I returned when it all got too much and I needed to clear my head and my thoughts.

She's gone now but for a while a strange kind of fear remained. It was only when I was freed of that fear and relieved of my own sense of defeat that I knew it was time to go back to my old life, my once-upon-a-time-friends, and now if I can make enough money, for more travels. I mean, it feels a bit right now, like placing your foot gingerly into a pool of water, daring yourself for a swim. At least, I can stick my toe into the ripples now.

Just thought it was important you all knew the score. The whole effect was emotionally draining and also exhausting at the time but I survived it all and I don't remember its severity as I used to once before.

.

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

I, the happy vagabond.

Today, I woke up feeling fine. For the first time, I put on some lipstick, wore something nice and my beauty was visible, even to my own hidden eye; with something of which I experienced to be a slight shock.

Of late I have looked worried, nervous, irritable, pale and sometimes disillushioned. My smile then was often distorted, puzzling, damaged and subdued. Then the tranquility on my face too, was re-arranged by the somewhat temperamental pace of things.

This morning, I looked again the way I first did when I came to my friend's backpacker place. Composed, fulfilled, peaceful. I plan to leave Malaysia on the last week of May - my plans properly delayed by 2 weeks but never mind, at least I am alive, healthy, hopeful and once again, full of promise.

I want to be out of the country by June. I managed to eat a full meal in the morning, had a look at my suitcases, sorted out all my winter things and after a while, there grew in me, such an impatient desire to connect with the world, I had left behind 15 months ago. It was an emotion that tugged at my heartstrings with ferocity.

I thought about who I would write to say I was coming. Or maybe, I would call. The sounds of surprise and astonishment for instance... I haven't touched base for 15 months. That was a silent stirring moment for me. OK, friends, I'm so glad I at least, kept this blog going and with it, a focal point of communication. I didn't want to lose any of you. Expect proper colourful posts again. It is getting easier to write more each day.

I, the happy vagabond.

Today, I woke up feeling fine. For the first time, I put on some lipstick, wore something nice and my beauty was visible, even to my own hidden eye; with something of which I experienced to be a slight shock.

Of late I have looked worried, nervous, irritable, pale and sometimes disillushioned. My smile then was often distorted, puzzling, damaged and subdued. Then the tranquility on my face too, was re-arranged by the somewhat temperamental pace of things.

This morning, I looked again the way I first did when I came to my friend's backpacker place. Composed, fulfilled, peaceful. I plan to leave Malaysia on the last week of May - my plans properly delayed by 2 weeks but never mind, at least I am alive, healthy, hopeful and once again, full of promise.

I want to be out of the country by June. I managed to eat a full meal in the morning, had a look at my suitcases, sorted out all my winter things and after a while, there grew in me, such an impatient desire to connect with the world, I had left behind 15 months ago. It was an emotion that tugged at my heartstrings with ferocity.

I thought about who I would write to say I was coming. Or maybe, I would call. The sounds of surprise and astonishment for instance... I haven't touched base for 15 months. That was a silent stirring moment for me. OK, friends, I'm so glad I at least, kept this blog going and with it, a focal point of communication. I didn't want to lose any of you. Expect proper colourful posts again. It is getting easier to write more each day.

I, the happy vagabond.

Today, I woke up feeling fine. For the first time, I put on some lipstick, wore something nice and my beauty was visible, even to my own hidden eye; with something of which I experienced to be a slight shock.

Of late I have looked worried, nervous, irritable, pale and sometimes disillushioned. My smile then was often distorted, puzzling, damaged and subdued. Then the tranquility on my face too, was re-arranged by the somewhat temperamental pace of things.

This morning, I looked again the way I first did when I came to my friend's backpacker place. Composed, fulfilled, peaceful. I plan to leave Malaysia on the last week of May - my plans properly delayed by 2 weeks but never mind, at least I am alive, healthy, hopeful and once again, full of promise.

I want to be out of the country by June. I managed to eat a full meal in the morning, had a look at my suitcases, sorted out all my winter things and after a while, there grew in me, such an impatient desire to connect with the world, I had left behind 15 months ago. It was an emotion that tugged at my heartstrings with ferocity.

I thought about who I would write to say I was coming. Or maybe, I would call. The sounds of surprise and astonishment for instance... I haven't touched base for 15 months. That was a silent stirring moment for me. OK, friends, I'm so glad I at least, kept this blog going and with it, a focal point of communication. I didn't want to lose any of you. Expect proper colourful posts again. It is getting easier to write more each day.

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

My spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I can manage a few blog entries for the Guardian Books Blog but that is all. I am too spent for my own blog, something I could take so flawlessly in my stride before. I mean, I have all these stories in my head and want to write them down for you like I did once before but it's still hard. I want to share my thoughts and of what is happening right now but even that is hard. No one else seems to have caught any kind of virus but me. It is just taking a little longer to recover than I like. I'm eating like about one meal a day. I do drink more coffee. All bad. I know. I know. But at least, my metabolism is high and I can get things done. Today, I finally managed a couple of letters to friends abroad to say I'm coming. Even doing this simple thing took so long. Once this is over, I hope not to get ill again for say, about a year.

My spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I can manage a few blog entries for the Guardian Books Blog but that is all. I am too spent for my own blog, something I could take so flawlessly in my stride before. I mean, I have all these stories in my head and want to write them down for you like I did once before but it's still hard. I want to share my thoughts and of what is happening right now but even that is hard. No one else seems to have caught any kind of virus but me. It is just taking a little longer to recover than I like. I'm eating like about one meal a day. I do drink more coffee. All bad. I know. I know. But at least, my metabolism is high and I can get things done. Today, I finally managed a couple of letters to friends abroad to say I'm coming. Even doing this simple thing took so long. Once this is over, I hope not to get ill again for say, about a year.

My spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I can manage a few blog entries for the Guardian Books Blog but that is all. I am too spent for my own blog, something I could take so flawlessly in my stride before. I mean, I have all these stories in my head and want to write them down for you like I did once before but it's still hard. I want to share my thoughts and of what is happening right now but even that is hard. No one else seems to have caught any kind of virus but me. It is just taking a little longer to recover than I like. I'm eating like about one meal a day. I do drink more coffee. All bad. I know. I know. But at least, my metabolism is high and I can get things done. Today, I finally managed a couple of letters to friends abroad to say I'm coming. Even doing this simple thing took so long. Once this is over, I hope not to get ill again for say, about a year.

Monday, 14 May 2007

Hi. Sorry. I will write a post later. or tomorrow. Must get back now into the rhythm of blogging. I used to take just an hour to visit everyone before. But now, it seems to take a long time for me to visit just a few. I know this is a result of having come out of the illness. And I'm just hoping to get back into the rhythm of things very soon.

Hi. Sorry. I will write a post later. or tomorrow. Must get back now into the rhythm of blogging. I used to take just an hour to visit everyone before. But now, it seems to take a long time for me to visit just a few. I know this is a result of having come out of the illness. And I'm just hoping to get back into the rhythm of things very soon.

Hi. Sorry. I will write a post later. or tomorrow. Must get back now into the rhythm of blogging. I used to take just an hour to visit everyone before. But now, it seems to take a long time for me to visit just a few. I know this is a result of having come out of the illness. And I'm just hoping to get back into the rhythm of things very soon.

Sunday, 13 May 2007

Today, I can't write much. Just want to say that I'm finally oh...so completely well. :-) I've gone back to drinking my Nescafe with relish. I did notice however that in the days I wasn't able to drink coffee, my skin looked more sparkly. In the same way that happened when I stopped smoking. I've gone back to my nervous stressful self. And also, the whole day, it's finally occurred to me that I've got to have my book published properly. I've always had this desire but where there was complacency, now it is a burning desire magnified and must have happened sometime when I was ill. You suddenly realise how frail destiny is. And then I think....I really just want to live the moment.

Today, I can't write much. Just want to say that I'm finally oh...so completely well. :-) I've gone back to drinking my Nescafe with relish. I did notice however that in the days I wasn't able to drink coffee, my skin looked more sparkly. In the same way that happened when I stopped smoking. I've gone back to my nervous stressful self. And also, the whole day, it's finally occurred to me that I've got to have my book published properly. I've always had this desire but where there was complacency, now it is a burning desire magnified and must have happened sometime when I was ill. You suddenly realise how frail destiny is. And then I think....I really just want to live the moment.

Today, I can't write much. Just want to say that I'm finally oh...so completely well. :-) I've gone back to drinking my Nescafe with relish. I did notice however that in the days I wasn't able to drink coffee, my skin looked more sparkly. In the same way that happened when I stopped smoking. I've gone back to my nervous stressful self. And also, the whole day, it's finally occurred to me that I've got to have my book published properly. I've always had this desire but where there was complacency, now it is a burning desire magnified and must have happened sometime when I was ill. You suddenly realise how frail destiny is. And then I think....I really just want to live the moment.

Thursday, 10 May 2007

I visited some blogs today and will visit the rest tomorrow. It wasn't 4 beastly days of illness but 5.

The first things I wanted to do when I knew I was going to be well or rather when the fever finally broke was that I wanted to eat - hadn't eaten in about 2 1/2 days and that I wanted to write a collection of my traveller's tales. I just had such an impatient desire to write my stories as if I had missed something beautiful that had been snatched from me.

I went to ask for a multi-connector pin with which to fit my laptop and other electrical gadgets. As I'm staying in a very nice backpacker place managed by a very close acquaintance (I've known for some years now), and I am surrounded by friends because I know all the staff, they were naturally shocked.

I looked too pale, I should be resting. What on a earth did I want with a multi-connector pin.
I guess I'm a writer through and through after all. Now, I just have to work on getting myself published properly. Thank you, everyone if you still come this way. Just catching up on the visits.

I visited some blogs today and will visit the rest tomorrow. It wasn't 4 beastly days of illness but 5.

The first things I wanted to do when I knew I was going to be well or rather when the fever finally broke was that I wanted to eat - hadn't eaten in about 2 1/2 days and that I wanted to write a collection of my traveller's tales. I just had such an impatient desire to write my stories as if I had missed something beautiful that had been snatched from me.

I went to ask for a multi-connector pin with which to fit my laptop and other electrical gadgets. As I'm staying in a very nice backpacker place managed by a very close acquaintance (I've known for some years now), and I am surrounded by friends because I know all the staff, they were naturally shocked.

I looked too pale, I should be resting. What on a earth did I want with a multi-connector pin.
I guess I'm a writer through and through after all. Now, I just have to work on getting myself published properly. Thank you, everyone if you still come this way. Just catching up on the visits.

I visited some blogs today and will visit the rest tomorrow. It wasn't 4 beastly days of illness but 5.

The first things I wanted to do when I knew I was going to be well or rather when the fever finally broke was that I wanted to eat - hadn't eaten in about 2 1/2 days and that I wanted to write a collection of my traveller's tales. I just had such an impatient desire to write my stories as if I had missed something beautiful that had been snatched from me.

I went to ask for a multi-connector pin with which to fit my laptop and other electrical gadgets. As I'm staying in a very nice backpacker place managed by a very close acquaintance (I've known for some years now), and I am surrounded by friends because I know all the staff, they were naturally shocked.

I looked too pale, I should be resting. What on a earth did I want with a multi-connector pin.
I guess I'm a writer through and through after all. Now, I just have to work on getting myself published properly. Thank you, everyone if you still come this way. Just catching up on the visits.

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

Hello everyone, My life stopped for 4 days with a fever that's only just gone. I'm ok now, only groggy. I really don't know what happened. I'm hardly ever ill. I don't expect to be ill again for a while. Everything should be normal tomorrow. See you on your blogs then.

Hello everyone, My life stopped for 4 days with a fever that's only just gone. I'm ok now, only groggy. I really don't know what happened. I'm hardly ever ill. I don't expect to be ill again for a while. Everything should be normal tomorrow. See you on your blogs then.

Hello everyone, My life stopped for 4 days with a fever that's only just gone. I'm ok now, only groggy. I really don't know what happened. I'm hardly ever ill. I don't expect to be ill again for a while. Everything should be normal tomorrow. See you on your blogs then.

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

Hi everyone. Really wanted to come to you with a couple of stories today and also visit all the blogs of those who've visited me in the last few days - the old and the new (i have read & appreciated each of your comments) but unfortunately, I'm still ill. I don't know what's happened. I feel paraylsed in my spirit. It's just a severe case of the flu. I'm hardly ever ill. My real problem is gastric that hits me badly if I don't eat meals properly & I've been threatened with possible surgery for this. I've had gastric since I was 10 years old. But either then that...I'm hardly ever ill. So it's like as much as i can do at the moment, to just get through the day. I think I may need another 2 to 3 days to be ok but please know i will come to read you all. Just today is still very hard for me. Sorry.

.

Hi everyone. Really wanted to come to you with a couple of stories today and also visit all the blogs of those who've visited me in the last few days - the old and the new (i have read & appreciated each of your comments) but unfortunately, I'm still ill. I don't know what's happened. I feel paraylsed in my spirit. It's just a severe case of the flu. I'm hardly ever ill. My real problem is gastric that hits me badly if I don't eat meals properly & I've been threatened with possible surgery for this. I've had gastric since I was 10 years old. But either then that...I'm hardly ever ill. So it's like as much as i can do at the moment, to just get through the day. I think I may need another 2 to 3 days to be ok but please know i will come to read you all. Just today is still very hard for me. Sorry.

.

Hi everyone. Really wanted to come to you with a couple of stories today and also visit all the blogs of those who've visited me in the last few days - the old and the new (i have read & appreciated each of your comments) but unfortunately, I'm still ill. I don't know what's happened. I feel paraylsed in my spirit. It's just a severe case of the flu. I'm hardly ever ill. My real problem is gastric that hits me badly if I don't eat meals properly & I've been threatened with possible surgery for this. I've had gastric since I was 10 years old. But either then that...I'm hardly ever ill. So it's like as much as i can do at the moment, to just get through the day. I think I may need another 2 to 3 days to be ok but please know i will come to read you all. Just today is still very hard for me. Sorry.

.

Monday, 7 May 2007

Hi everyone. Oh drat! Sorry! I was being silly & naughty like Getzapped said. I've become ill with the flu so haven't been able to move much these last 2 days. That's why I was so grouchy. I couldn't read any of you today but I will visit each of you tomorrow and also answer each of your comments for the entry below, tomorrow. Just know I've read all of them. I've already collected my first traveller's adventure in downtown Kuala Lumpur, in a backpackers owned by my friend. It involves a real ghost. It's not the kind of adventure I'd hoped for. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. :-) By the way, Australia is my next destination.
Love you & catch you all on your blogs, tomorrow. I mean, I think the flu's packing right now. But oh dear... the ghost is staying. :-)



Hi everyone. Oh drat! Sorry! I was being silly & naughty like Getzapped said. I've become ill with the flu so haven't been able to move much these last 2 days. That's why I was so grouchy. I couldn't read any of you today but I will visit each of you tomorrow and also answer each of your comments for the entry below, tomorrow. Just know I've read all of them. I've already collected my first traveller's adventure in downtown Kuala Lumpur, in a backpackers owned by my friend. It involves a real ghost. It's not the kind of adventure I'd hoped for. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. :-) By the way, Australia is my next destination.
Love you & catch you all on your blogs, tomorrow. I mean, I think the flu's packing right now. But oh dear... the ghost is staying. :-)



Hi everyone. Oh drat! Sorry! I was being silly & naughty like Getzapped said. I've become ill with the flu so haven't been able to move much these last 2 days. That's why I was so grouchy. I couldn't read any of you today but I will visit each of you tomorrow and also answer each of your comments for the entry below, tomorrow. Just know I've read all of them. I've already collected my first traveller's adventure in downtown Kuala Lumpur, in a backpackers owned by my friend. It involves a real ghost. It's not the kind of adventure I'd hoped for. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. :-) By the way, Australia is my next destination.
Love you & catch you all on your blogs, tomorrow. I mean, I think the flu's packing right now. But oh dear... the ghost is staying. :-)



Sunday, 6 May 2007

I read your comments below & realised that I could close the blog today and wouldn't be missed at all.
Gee! A tough pill to swallow!
How silly I've been then, holding on. :)

Today is a bank holiday in England, isn't it. I clean forgot. Feeling very ill at the moment. A fever & a cough. I haven't eaten anything at all since dinnertime Sunday. It's now teatime, Monday. I am cranky. I'll read you all tomorrow.

I read your comments below & realised that I could close the blog today and wouldn't be missed at all.
Gee! A tough pill to swallow!
How silly I've been then, holding on. :)

Today is a bank holiday in England, isn't it. I clean forgot. Feeling very ill at the moment. A fever & a cough. I haven't eaten anything at all since dinnertime Sunday. It's now teatime, Monday. I am cranky. I'll read you all tomorrow.

I read your comments below & realised that I could close the blog today and wouldn't be missed at all.
Gee! A tough pill to swallow!
How silly I've been then, holding on. :)

Today is a bank holiday in England, isn't it. I clean forgot. Feeling very ill at the moment. A fever & a cough. I haven't eaten anything at all since dinnertime Sunday. It's now teatime, Monday. I am cranky. I'll read you all tomorrow.

Saturday, 5 May 2007

How Life Steadied Me Today

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us



Caption: Singaporean actress - Tan Kheng Hua Interviewed her in the '90s. Tan is gorgeous & lovely.

I find that my waywardness and my rush in planning may require a little downtime. But...

I don't want to do it and am fighting not to because I do value my readers and friends on this blog. Because then I don't know when I will come back. Have you noticed those who say they're going off for a short while, an interval etc. just never come back... This doesn't include holidays & the usual.

I could well carry on with blog reporting on literary news as I did before or writing of my reads & such until I get to a new country and just say to you, well, I'm here. I think that sort of just clears the air & any misunderstanding all around. However, until then, it may not be daily posts as before.

I'm not travelling in the way I did for 8 years. I've been sort of trying to explain that in vain for the longest time and clearly not succeeding. If another 8 years happens again, then it will have to build up gradually and spontanously like it did the last time. Because I'm now pursuing a publishing dream and writing a play when for years, these things were furthest from my mind. Which means I'll now have a different set of commitments and responsibilities.

In fact, I've just read in the Sunday papers of Singapore's popular comic actress Tan Kheng Hua who takes on a serious American film role. When working as a journalist, I did meet with Kheng Hua and speak to her once; she was a good personal friend of my Singaporean editor, James Siow. At once, I felt a rush of passion for the old quaint charm of Singapore, a little island I must have visited dozens of times. It's landscape, history and social culture is completely different to Malaysia.

I remembered I had cancelled tickets a few days ago.

Then I realised that this was life's way of warning me to take stock and that I had to plan carefully. What has happened is that after a year of a sedate life, the wanderlust bug is swirling around me with a potpurri of heavily-scented memories. Everything in the past merges together in an overwhelming fashion. I've never experienced such a lengthy heady sensation before. I must sort out my desires carefully and properly. What do I really want to do first of all etc. Otherwise, I may just mess up. :-)

How Life Steadied Me Today

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us



Caption: Singaporean actress - Tan Kheng Hua Interviewed her in the '90s. Tan is gorgeous & lovely.

I find that my waywardness and my rush in planning may require a little downtime. But...

I don't want to do it and am fighting not to because I do value my readers and friends on this blog. Because then I don't know when I will come back. Have you noticed those who say they're going off for a short while, an interval etc. just never come back... This doesn't include holidays & the usual.

I could well carry on with blog reporting on literary news as I did before or writing of my reads & such until I get to a new country and just say to you, well, I'm here. I think that sort of just clears the air & any misunderstanding all around. However, until then, it may not be daily posts as before.

I'm not travelling in the way I did for 8 years. I've been sort of trying to explain that in vain for the longest time and clearly not succeeding. If another 8 years happens again, then it will have to build up gradually and spontanously like it did the last time. Because I'm now pursuing a publishing dream and writing a play when for years, these things were furthest from my mind. Which means I'll now have a different set of commitments and responsibilities.

In fact, I've just read in the Sunday papers of Singapore's popular comic actress Tan Kheng Hua who takes on a serious American film role. When working as a journalist, I did meet with Kheng Hua and speak to her once; she was a good personal friend of my Singaporean editor, James Siow. At once, I felt a rush of passion for the old quaint charm of Singapore, a little island I must have visited dozens of times. It's landscape, history and social culture is completely different to Malaysia.

I remembered I had cancelled tickets a few days ago.

Then I realised that this was life's way of warning me to take stock and that I had to plan carefully. What has happened is that after a year of a sedate life, the wanderlust bug is swirling around me with a potpurri of heavily-scented memories. Everything in the past merges together in an overwhelming fashion. I've never experienced such a lengthy heady sensation before. I must sort out my desires carefully and properly. What do I really want to do first of all etc. Otherwise, I may just mess up. :-)

How Life Steadied Me Today

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us



Caption: Singaporean actress - Tan Kheng Hua Interviewed her in the '90s. Tan is gorgeous & lovely.

I find that my waywardness and my rush in planning may require a little downtime. But...

I don't want to do it and am fighting not to because I do value my readers and friends on this blog. Because then I don't know when I will come back. Have you noticed those who say they're going off for a short while, an interval etc. just never come back... This doesn't include holidays & the usual.

I could well carry on with blog reporting on literary news as I did before or writing of my reads & such until I get to a new country and just say to you, well, I'm here. I think that sort of just clears the air & any misunderstanding all around. However, until then, it may not be daily posts as before.

I'm not travelling in the way I did for 8 years. I've been sort of trying to explain that in vain for the longest time and clearly not succeeding. If another 8 years happens again, then it will have to build up gradually and spontanously like it did the last time. Because I'm now pursuing a publishing dream and writing a play when for years, these things were furthest from my mind. Which means I'll now have a different set of commitments and responsibilities.

In fact, I've just read in the Sunday papers of Singapore's popular comic actress Tan Kheng Hua who takes on a serious American film role. When working as a journalist, I did meet with Kheng Hua and speak to her once; she was a good personal friend of my Singaporean editor, James Siow. At once, I felt a rush of passion for the old quaint charm of Singapore, a little island I must have visited dozens of times. It's landscape, history and social culture is completely different to Malaysia.

I remembered I had cancelled tickets a few days ago.

Then I realised that this was life's way of warning me to take stock and that I had to plan carefully. What has happened is that after a year of a sedate life, the wanderlust bug is swirling around me with a potpurri of heavily-scented memories. Everything in the past merges together in an overwhelming fashion. I've never experienced such a lengthy heady sensation before. I must sort out my desires carefully and properly. What do I really want to do first of all etc. Otherwise, I may just mess up. :-)

Friday, 4 May 2007

Still undecided!

My mind is in such a rush and it seems every interest is determined to claim my time.

These include my earlier philosophy lessons and the reading of the classics. If I don't indulge in any of these 2 things despite all of the thinking and present-day planning, I feel lost and bereft.

My personality is multi-faceted in that maddening exuberant way. No interest wants to shift itself to the side for any one moment. I just need to organize myself in a new way, that's all. Otherwise, I simply feel incomplete and I guess that won't do either. So I still can't write my usual post on what I've been up to simply from a lack of time.

But I'm making plans now to go to either Africa, South India or Australia before England. I almost slipped in to Singapore, then cancelled my tickets. I thought I could see Singapore when on a transit flight later. Remember I said, I would first move locations, give up my wireless and then arrange my tickets to somewhere. This is where I'm at in my life right now.

If I don't get to one of my favourite beaches in good time, I'll just die. :-)

If I go to Australia, then I'll just plant myself on Sydney's wintry coast. I'm a Bondi girl, you know. When in Sydney, I always lived on Bondi Beach, ate fish and chips, browsed in quaint bookshops, waited for the evening markets that sold a celebrated clutter of beads, bracelets & necklaces and made friends on the beach with people who walked their dogs. The doggies are always obliging Can you see what a hippie life I've led? Then we'd slip to one of the cafes on the promenade and laze with wine & sandwiches. Oh my God, what adventures! And yet so much a part of my life once before, I took everything for granted.

In Bondi, I always caught the bus into the city, either into Darling Harbour or one of the department stores. Australia is beautiful, lively & friendly,. It really is. But then so is the inviting Kilamanjaro. Yikes!! More tomorrow :-)

Still undecided!

My mind is in such a rush and it seems every interest is determined to claim my time.

These include my earlier philosophy lessons and the reading of the classics. If I don't indulge in any of these 2 things despite all of the thinking and present-day planning, I feel lost and bereft.

My personality is multi-faceted in that maddening exuberant way. No interest wants to shift itself to the side for any one moment. I just need to organize myself in a new way, that's all. Otherwise, I simply feel incomplete and I guess that won't do either. So I still can't write my usual post on what I've been up to simply from a lack of time.

But I'm making plans now to go to either Africa, South India or Australia before England. I almost slipped in to Singapore, then cancelled my tickets. I thought I could see Singapore when on a transit flight later. Remember I said, I would first move locations, give up my wireless and then arrange my tickets to somewhere. This is where I'm at in my life right now.

If I don't get to one of my favourite beaches in good time, I'll just die. :-)

If I go to Australia, then I'll just plant myself on Sydney's wintry coast. I'm a Bondi girl, you know. When in Sydney, I always lived on Bondi Beach, ate fish and chips, browsed in quaint bookshops, waited for the evening markets that sold a celebrated clutter of beads, bracelets & necklaces and made friends on the beach with people who walked their dogs. The doggies are always obliging Can you see what a hippie life I've led? Then we'd slip to one of the cafes on the promenade and laze with wine & sandwiches. Oh my God, what adventures! And yet so much a part of my life once before, I took everything for granted.

In Bondi, I always caught the bus into the city, either into Darling Harbour or one of the department stores. Australia is beautiful, lively & friendly,. It really is. But then so is the inviting Kilamanjaro. Yikes!! More tomorrow :-)

Still undecided!

My mind is in such a rush and it seems every interest is determined to claim my time.

These include my earlier philosophy lessons and the reading of the classics. If I don't indulge in any of these 2 things despite all of the thinking and present-day planning, I feel lost and bereft.

My personality is multi-faceted in that maddening exuberant way. No interest wants to shift itself to the side for any one moment. I just need to organize myself in a new way, that's all. Otherwise, I simply feel incomplete and I guess that won't do either. So I still can't write my usual post on what I've been up to simply from a lack of time.

But I'm making plans now to go to either Africa, South India or Australia before England. I almost slipped in to Singapore, then cancelled my tickets. I thought I could see Singapore when on a transit flight later. Remember I said, I would first move locations, give up my wireless and then arrange my tickets to somewhere. This is where I'm at in my life right now.

If I don't get to one of my favourite beaches in good time, I'll just die. :-)

If I go to Australia, then I'll just plant myself on Sydney's wintry coast. I'm a Bondi girl, you know. When in Sydney, I always lived on Bondi Beach, ate fish and chips, browsed in quaint bookshops, waited for the evening markets that sold a celebrated clutter of beads, bracelets & necklaces and made friends on the beach with people who walked their dogs. The doggies are always obliging Can you see what a hippie life I've led? Then we'd slip to one of the cafes on the promenade and laze with wine & sandwiches. Oh my God, what adventures! And yet so much a part of my life once before, I took everything for granted.

In Bondi, I always caught the bus into the city, either into Darling Harbour or one of the department stores. Australia is beautiful, lively & friendly,. It really is. But then so is the inviting Kilamanjaro. Yikes!! More tomorrow :-)

Thursday, 3 May 2007

Pointing the limelight to extraordinary disclosures is like breaking the stunned silence with a sudden siren. - susan abraham

Pointing the limelight to extraordinary disclosures is like breaking the stunned silence with a sudden siren. - susan abraham

Pointing the limelight to extraordinary disclosures is like breaking the stunned silence with a sudden siren. - susan abraham

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

Living on the edge (Part 1)

I left a comfortable home where my needs could have been easily secured, for the longest time, 2 days ago.

I wasn't happy and was constantly restless but circumstances did not allow me to leave earlier.

I was a traveller for 8 years & this, counting the African safaris that really did it for me. The South-Pacific reminded me of old world adventure and I consider the Middle-East, the most sensuous place on earth. The memories still tug at my heartstrings with a sharp cry.

But because of a crisis, I had to return to Malaysia for a little while. This time will be slightly different. I have a focussed publishing dream, am writing a play and may have to meet with responsibilities & commitments. I need to secure my success for these ambitions.

I don't mean the kind of travelling where one takes leave from the office, signs up for tours and a paid holiday package.

Rather, I mean the kind of travelling where one decides on a whim, throws a bag of clothes over the shoulder and catches a plane in the night-time to anywhere. There is for someone like me, an exhilaration, a thrill, an incredible adrenalin rush.

And then even as one is led to have adventures, one stays for an indefinite time, collecting experiences and making friends. That's my kind of travelling. I am a born adventurer, poet and writer. I cannot live in a nucleur capsule of mother, father, sister, brother, husband etc. After a while, I will get bored, simply pack my bags and go.

I am one of those writers who feel secure in the midst of good acquaintances and friends - and I have been very lucky in that respect - in any culture and also, more serious relationships which I must keep secret.

I ask for nothing more. I am also one also one of those writers who would love to meet with good friends in intimate cafes, talking about art, philosophy, history... And this in strange exotic places. And the fact that I will try my best to make these dreams come true... is what is so scary.

I am still finalising my plans and will let you know more tomorrow. It is hard to understand me, I know. But please try. At the moment, I just want a little detour before I go back to England.

Living on the edge (Part 1)

I left a comfortable home where my needs could have been easily secured, for the longest time, 2 days ago.

I wasn't happy and was constantly restless but circumstances did not allow me to leave earlier.

I was a traveller for 8 years & this, counting the African safaris that really did it for me. The South-Pacific reminded me of old world adventure and I consider the Middle-East, the most sensuous place on earth. The memories still tug at my heartstrings with a sharp cry.

But because of a crisis, I had to return to Malaysia for a little while. This time will be slightly different. I have a focussed publishing dream, am writing a play and may have to meet with responsibilities & commitments. I need to secure my success for these ambitions.

I don't mean the kind of travelling where one takes leave from the office, signs up for tours and a paid holiday package.

Rather, I mean the kind of travelling where one decides on a whim, throws a bag of clothes over the shoulder and catches a plane in the night-time to anywhere. There is for someone like me, an exhilaration, a thrill, an incredible adrenalin rush.

And then even as one is led to have adventures, one stays for an indefinite time, collecting experiences and making friends. That's my kind of travelling. I am a born adventurer, poet and writer. I cannot live in a nucleur capsule of mother, father, sister, brother, husband etc. After a while, I will get bored, simply pack my bags and go.

I am one of those writers who feel secure in the midst of good acquaintances and friends - and I have been very lucky in that respect - in any culture and also, more serious relationships which I must keep secret.

I ask for nothing more. I am also one also one of those writers who would love to meet with good friends in intimate cafes, talking about art, philosophy, history... And this in strange exotic places. And the fact that I will try my best to make these dreams come true... is what is so scary.

I am still finalising my plans and will let you know more tomorrow. It is hard to understand me, I know. But please try. At the moment, I just want a little detour before I go back to England.

Living on the edge (Part 1)

I left a comfortable home where my needs could have been easily secured, for the longest time, 2 days ago.

I wasn't happy and was constantly restless but circumstances did not allow me to leave earlier.

I was a traveller for 8 years & this, counting the African safaris that really did it for me. The South-Pacific reminded me of old world adventure and I consider the Middle-East, the most sensuous place on earth. The memories still tug at my heartstrings with a sharp cry.

But because of a crisis, I had to return to Malaysia for a little while. This time will be slightly different. I have a focussed publishing dream, am writing a play and may have to meet with responsibilities & commitments. I need to secure my success for these ambitions.

I don't mean the kind of travelling where one takes leave from the office, signs up for tours and a paid holiday package.

Rather, I mean the kind of travelling where one decides on a whim, throws a bag of clothes over the shoulder and catches a plane in the night-time to anywhere. There is for someone like me, an exhilaration, a thrill, an incredible adrenalin rush.

And then even as one is led to have adventures, one stays for an indefinite time, collecting experiences and making friends. That's my kind of travelling. I am a born adventurer, poet and writer. I cannot live in a nucleur capsule of mother, father, sister, brother, husband etc. After a while, I will get bored, simply pack my bags and go.

I am one of those writers who feel secure in the midst of good acquaintances and friends - and I have been very lucky in that respect - in any culture and also, more serious relationships which I must keep secret.

I ask for nothing more. I am also one also one of those writers who would love to meet with good friends in intimate cafes, talking about art, philosophy, history... And this in strange exotic places. And the fact that I will try my best to make these dreams come true... is what is so scary.

I am still finalising my plans and will let you know more tomorrow. It is hard to understand me, I know. But please try. At the moment, I just want a little detour before I go back to England.

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Hello. The truth is I don't think I can post anything today, because there is too much frenzied activity in my head. ;-). But I'll write tomorrow and tell you what's going on and I do have ideas for normal posts going on as well. Sigh! I have disabled the comments box for today because there really is nothing to say when there is nothing to say, is there. cheers.


Hello. The truth is I don't think I can post anything today, because there is too much frenzied activity in my head. ;-). But I'll write tomorrow and tell you what's going on and I do have ideas for normal posts going on as well. Sigh! I have disabled the comments box for today because there really is nothing to say when there is nothing to say, is there. cheers.


Hello. The truth is I don't think I can post anything today, because there is too much frenzied activity in my head. ;-). But I'll write tomorrow and tell you what's going on and I do have ideas for normal posts going on as well. Sigh! I have disabled the comments box for today because there really is nothing to say when there is nothing to say, is there. cheers.