I am the writer, swinging on a wing.

A few serious resolutions and my mind is tossed into a mysterious spin of spontaneity.

My thoughts whirl about like the dancing flame on a candlelamp. I swing on one wing into the abstract unknown. I dare now to go where I have never strolled before.

The worst thing that destiny could do on my scattered esplanade of writing dreams, is to just say 'no' with a frown on its crown or warn of a slip-slide tumble from a clumsy fumble. This after much hindsight, I can handle without the usual bungle.

I have learnt in life that you could be seen to be doing things and be everywhere and within yourself, lie nowhere. A very sharp lesson.

So now I must work to develop my art solely to achieve my dreams. And may everything beautiful meet together on the brink of this waiting oasis.

Things to do:

a) I have to read more. Much much more. The world classics and philosophy. I love life so much I have to rest in the warmth of philosophy. Christ is forever my kiss in the darkness. Philosophy feels more like the rubbing of shivering fingers in the fireplace. The comfort of its indulgent explanations... I remember that in the Old Testament, it was written that God had eagerly blessed the gifts of literature and philosophy. In remembering, I like to think that Christ would have regaled in my hobbies.

b) I want to re-read the Malaysian literature, I stayed close to for many years. I want to a personal study of Lee Kok Liang's version of London Does Not Belong To Me. How exciting, how exciting indeed to probe another's thoughts from my homeland. And one so different from my own. Or engage in Wong Phui Nam's studied poems. My heritage...my roots...my early whimsical thoughts on life. They all nest here in these sacred offerings.

c) I have to read to improve my vocabulary which I consider to be shoddy.

d) I have to work on a collection of poetry which I had half-started.

e) Finish a novella from where the entire intense plot is already completed, and lies waiting for the real world, in my head.

f) I have to send out more completed children's stories. Forget the publishers that I am waiting to hear news from or where I had recently posted work to and just start again. Then every waiting news becomes a surprise.

g) And as regards the agent, I may apply to a British acting agency and diverse a little bit. I am a versatile writer and writing a script is equally pleasurable to me. All I need for now is a foot in the door.

In this exhilarating madness, anything is possible. And where the world was once locked to me, it now lies softly open, its hands like a trembling pearl-clad oyster...