Notes (2) on writing my play

This post won't make sense to anyone, really.

But my mind is full of the play.

Been a long time since I felt like this.

Oh, I do for some of my other pieces...

But the intensity...yes, the intensity...

All kinds of things come to mind.

My own memories...

of writing radio plays and having them aired.

hearing strangers read the words I had carved so keenly.

Remembering their voices..and still sulking at a Malaysian

actress who read my short story out on Radio Malaysia

with such a pretentious British accent, she destroyed my words.

And how being the diva, I had complained loudly in the office, the next day.

cringing, recoiling, 'she spoilt my short story, with wrong accents,

next time, I want to choose my own cast..."

but sadly, it was the producer's call.

Now remembering, having joined once before too, the

Liberal Arts Society, a European theatre group in Kuala Lumpur.

We acted and sung a muscial, Captain Beaky at the British Council.

It was such an exciting time. I was happy.

But in my turbulent life, so many things had to be short-lived.

And then I wrote this really passionate stage play - only a quarter into it

but it was forming very nicely. I was inspired by British novelist, Iris Murdoch at the

time having read all her books...

I created characters ironing their differences around a table.

The only other props were goblets of wine.

One was called Julian.

Cold, cynical and a bit of a twit.

I loved the dialogue I gave him

and then became obsessed with this character's folly, his passions, his loves,

what colours did he like, what foods he ate etc.

But for those of you who read me now, I wrote a while ago

that I had been stalked for five years, and only now in this sixth year, I've

broken free from the person.

It was a horrible dark time that clashed with the bliss of my world travels.

There were also other things.

Always on the move, I ended up losing all my drafts and manuscripts.

I have to literally start again.

And cross over these terrible years back into the light of once-before...

the time of radio plays...Captain Beaky...Chris Wallis (entry below) and the character, Julian

and catch the brightside where they still lie, waiting and resting like a pretty meadow.

I have to remember how it felt, the delight of writing a play.

Now I know too much..the sadness is sharper, the darkness is blacker.

I have to search the roots of my play...

a time of introspection, reflection and self-seeking.